CHILD-REARING PRACTICES OF CEU STUDENTS’
FAMILIES AND THEIR IMPLICATIONS TO VALUES
FORMATION: BASES FOR CURRICULUM ENHANCEMENT
Dr. Teresita G. Carey, Dr. Aida S. Villanueva, Dr. Maria Lourdes R. Baello,
Dr. Milagros L. Borabo, Dr. Lolita D. Pablo, Ms. Tessie A. Ramirez,
Dr. Imelda C. Nery, Dr. Teresa D. Ramirez
This paper discusses a recent study on child-rearing practices of CEU students’ families to determine their implications to values formation and to use them as bases for curriculum enhancement. To realize the purpose of the study, the researches prepared questionnaires which comprise parent-respondents’ birthplace/place of residence, religion, civil status, work experience and the size of their family, as they may have an effect on their child-rearing practices. The other component of the first set of questionnaires identifies the various child-rearing practices among the respondents in terms of setting and family structure while the second set determines the values of children, analyzed in relation to the perceptions of the parents. Copies of the questionnaire were distributed to 381 students who came from Regions 1-12 as well as from the CAR, NCR, and ARMM. The study tried to find out the rearing practices of the parents that help develop their children’s values, which in turn, will be used as bases for curriculum enhancement. The results show that, in general, the children of the parent-respondents manifest the values perceived by their parents and drawn from their child-rearing practices.
William Wordsworth says, “The Child is the father of the Man.” This paradox captures the sentiment that lies behind much interest in the study of the similarity in the personality of parents and children and the continuity in the personality pattern of an individual from childhood to adulthood. It excites an image of a parent and a child caught up in an interacting spiral, with the behavior of a parent moving up to his/her child or with the phenomenon of the adult and the experiences in childhood in an interplay.
This image draws attention to the influence parents have on their developing children. As a Chinese proverb says, “A young branch takes on all the bends that one gives it.” A young child assumes all the burdens of his/her parents’ problems, restrictions, inadequacies, and aspirations.
Reports of many psychologists ( Becker, 1964; Birns and Hay ,1988; Coplan, 1989; Smith ,1990; & Baumriund, 1971), point out that children with emotionally troubled mothers are likely to have psychological problems. Those whose parents are hostile and restrictive bring about children’s resentment and inner rage, and worse, “neurotic problems,” self-pushing and suicidal tendencies, and inadequacy in adult roles (Hetherington, Cox M. & Cox, R. as cited in Zanden ,1995). Also, those whose parents are authoritarian tend to be disconnected, withdrawn, and distrustful. Some children whose parents plan for their future and decide for them who or what they should become may end up confused and bogged down by identity crises, even in adulthood (Cooper as cited in Zanden, 1995). Further, psychologists agree that children’s delinquent behavior may be attributed to parents’failure in doing what is expected of them; it is assumed that they must have done something wrong when children experience problems or get into trouble. Indeed, parents, specifically mothers, are blamed for the disturbing failures or undesirable behavior of their children.
When asked about the reasons that spur their children’s delinquent behavior, mothers tend to be defensive, quick to protect themselves against condemnation, according to the reports of psychologists. Parents “wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.” Hetherington,E.M.,Cox,M. and Cox,R., as cited in Zandem, James,1995).
In other words, they ignore their own shortcomings, such as falling short of what is expected of them, concentrating all their interests upon domestic affairs, spending all day long in cleaning the house, instead of understanding their children’s more active interests. They fail to realize that they can cause psychological damage by yelling at their children, using television as a baby sitter, or staying late at work. These mothers may not be fully aware of the harm poor parenting can bring about; they may not realize that it may result in severe and debilitating forms of mental illness, such as autism and schizophrenia (Cummings, Pellegrini and Watarius as cited in Zanden, 1995).
Reports of some psychologists say that not long ago, autism was attributed to the cold and rejecting behaviors of “refrigerator mothers” (Acock as cited in Zanden, 1995), while schizophrenia was seen as the product of intrusive and ambivalent mothering (Suzuki, 2007).
These reports raise the issue of the parents’ need to understand the nature of children. They should understand, based on observation and interviews with parents, that children, especially Filipino children, are very dependent, freely seeking and willingly receiving help from relatives and friends. They tend to be loquacious and enjoy engaging in prattles with the family members. They love clinging to them and enjoy telling stories.
Further, it is an observation that Filipino children take advantage of every chance to seek their parents’ help. There is confidence that they will find even little acts of dependence endearing. Children show their closeness to and faith in their parents by letting them do things for them.
It is also seen in Filipino homes, in general, that as children grow older, they try not to bother their parents anymore for things they can do alone but there is always an impression that seeking their help is an expression of their desire for continuing attachment.
While these Filipino children do not hesitate to demonstrate their affection, they keep their hurt feelings to themselves, expressing them quietly. But at times, they throw tantrums. If they are the youngest in the family, they always try to win special attention, not only from their parents but from other older siblings as well. They value themselves more as a part of a family than as individuals. They consider older members their support and the younger members their responsibility.
Understanding the nature of children may enable parents to adopt appropriate practices that may help facilitate the development of socially responsible and independent behavior in children. However, rearing practices or influence of the parents alone does not ensure children’s well-being. There are other indicators or influences on children’s behavior. These are peer relationships, school activities, gender differences, and cultural values.
Peer relationships play a significant role in the success or failure of children in meeting life’s expectations. From their peer group, they can gain the courage and confidence that may cause the weakening of their emotional attachment to their parents but may furnish an impetus for them to seek freedom. With their peer groups, they see themselves on an equal footing with others, instead of occupying the position of subordinates in the adult world. With their peer groups, they experience solidarity, security, acceptance, and companionship.
School activities, on the other hand, help them in overcoming difficulties that interfere with their social functioning and participation. They serve to keep children out of the industry, or prevent them from scrambling for jobs or from engaging in trifles.
Meanwhile, gender differences show that paternal and maternal reactions to female and male infants vary. Fathers give more punishments to boys than girls. They surprise their daughters with dolls. But they shirk from the thought of handing dolls to boys.
Both fathers and mothers compel more their sons to learn to be masculine than their daughters to be feminine. Parents are generally harsher to boys when making choices culturally defined as feminine than to girls making choices commonly defined as masculine. In addition, fathers’ disgust for homosexuality in their sons prevents them from expressing love and tenderness toward them.
The other influences that have a bearing on the child’s development are cultural practices. Culture varies endlessly from society to society. While outward show of friendliness using “please” when making any kind of request, and “thank you” when receiving any kind of favor, in one society conveys an atmosphere of sociability, another society finds the same gesture phony or insincere. While children from one society are satisfied with the affirmation “Good job” from their parents, others are expecting specific expressions of interest or appreciation of their work. They expect factual observation such as “You used a lot of green and blue in the picture. They make the scenery calm and soothing.”
According to research, while the United States has the middle-class cultural ideal that infants should sleep in a separate room, the Japanese patterns show mother and infant sharing a bed while the father sleeps in a separate room or bed, if there is not enough room for them. The list of cultural differences is endless; while one culture emphasize individualism, the other stresses group-consciousness. While one culture compels children to be independent, the other encourages dependency. Such variations naturally bring out conflicting parenting styles that may develop desirable or undesirable traits or behavior in children.
Traits that children develop and parents’ behavior patterns that their adolescents follow raise important issues: the key practices in childhood that influence personality development and that contribute to values formation, which may be used as bases for curriculum enhancement; and the continuity/discontinuity in the personality pattern of an individual from childhood to adulthood.
These issues have generated interest in the kind of training/care Filipino children receive from their parents and in childhood experiences that lead to their adult behavior, for as Guthrie and Jacobs say, “The Philippines offers an almost ideal situation for the study of patterns of child-rearing and of personality development.”
2. Literature Review
Parents and teachers are struggling to find ways to educate their children and students. While both have the same goals, to ensure their children’s/students’ well being, to help them achieve success, and to lead them to a good life, they seem to go in completely different directions.
The paper on Child-rearing and Educational Practices in the United States and Japan: “Comparative Perspectives” by Masatoshi Jimmy Suzuki (2007) shows the difference between teachers’ perspectives about school-based socialization of young children, on one hand, and, on the other, mothers’ perceptions and attitudes toward appropriate child-rearing and optimal child development, in addition to discussion on maternal expectations in both countries, and models of formation of self (Xiong and Detzner, 2008). He hypothesizes that American teachers place more emphasis on individualism, while Japanese teachers put more emphasis on group-consciousness. He explains that emphasis on individualism comes from teachers’ concern about the individual child’s success in the American society, and emphasis on group-consciousness comes from their concern about children becoming successful team members in Japanese society. He underscores the fact that the students of school in both countries actualized the value system in the society, as the product of culture-bound child-rearing practices by parents.
While Suzuki’s paper draws the dividing line between the sense of individualism inculcated by American society in its members, on one hand, and group consciousness as a desirable trait Japanese society wants its individuals to develop, on the other, Zha Blong Xiong and Daniel F. Detzner’s paper(2008) “Southeast Asian Adolescents’ Perception of Immigrant Parenting Practices” focuses on six areas of parenting responsibility in determining young people’s perceptions on their parents’ practices. The young people are Southeast Asian adolescents, specifically 37 Southeast Asian adolescents (Cambodian, Hmong, Lao, and Vietnamese), boys and girls between ages 14-19 years, ho lived in United States.
The study investigates how these young people growing up in the United States perceive their parents’ practices in six areas of parenting responsibility identified by the National Extension Parent Education Model: caring for self, understanding, guiding, nurturing, motivating, and advocating.
With all these observations, this paper may serve as a valuable reference for parents, teachers, psychologists, and social workers who are responsible for the welfare of the children. The practical guidance it offers may help in establishing trusting and cordial relationships of parents with their children, in identifying what teachers can do to support and advocate for desirable and appropriate child-rearing practices, in developing a person into a psychologically healthy, well-functioning adult, and in implementing intervention programs for children to become productive members of society.
Related studies on child-rearing practices offer the researchers the opportunity to confirm the universality of parental styles, to compare various societies in terms of their roles in developing the personality of an individual, to call into question the relationship between childhood experiences and adult behavior, and to understand better behavior patterns of adults in a society.
One of these studies is “The role of culture in early childhood: An examination of diverse parents’ beliefs and practices in their relation to their preschool–aged children” by Alejandra Livas (2008). The study is divided into three papers. The first paper highlights variation in mother’s use of inductive, highly power assertive and culturally specific practices, more unique to Mexican families. The second paper puts emphasis on the value the Mexican mothers give to respect and proper behavior of their children, which they inculcate usually through talk, one of the main parenting strategies employed by parents (Spera, Wentzel & Matto, 2009).According to the researcher, talk included the use of reasoning, negotiating, and valuing their children’s opinions, in contrast with previous studies, suggesting that Mexican immigrant and Mexican American mothers are adopting and changing their practices in response to their ecological contexts. The third paper examines diverse kindergarten parents’ readiness beliefs that are related to their home-reading practices. Findings show the following: African American parents have higher readiness beliefs than those of White parents; neighborhood ethnic composition (e.g. African American and Asian) is also related to parents’ readiness beliefs; and positive relationship between parents’ readiness beliefs and their home-reading activities is evident.
While the third paper of the study stresses the importance of the children’s home-reading activities in preparing them for school, the study on “The Relationship of Teachers’ Parenting Styles and Asian-American Students’ Reading Motivation” by Ra, Alice points out the contribution not only of parents but of teachers as well, to children’s socialization and development, with teachers creating learning environments at school and parents’ shaping socialization processes at home.
While teachers’ behavior patterns have a bearing on students, achievement, parents’ influence on their children cannot be underestimated.
A study on “Parental Aspirations for their Children’s Attainment: Relations to Ethnicity, Parental Education, Children’s Academic Performance, and Parental Perceptions of School Climate” by Spera, Wentzel, and Matto reflects such view. The study shows that middle and high school parents (13,577 of them) who had educational aspirations for their children contributed to their children’s academic performance.It also reveals that parental education and children’s academic performance were significantly and positively related to parental aspirations. However, the study shows that Caucasian parents with lower levels of education had significantly lower educational aspirations for their children than did parents of ethnicities with similar low levels of education. Moreover, the study points out that although the relationship between parental perceptions of school-related factors and parental aspirations for their children’s educational attainment was not strong, it was most predictive of non-Caucasian parental aspirations for their children.
That parents’ education or the lack of it and their aspirations bear an impact on their children’s academic achievement is the same view that Hsiao Yen-Ju conveys in his study, “A study of child-rearing, school strategies, and government policies that affect preschool children of immigrant mothers in southern Taiwan.” This study reveals that immigrant mothers have strong expectations for their children’s success.However, language barrier, poor communication skills, and a lack of cooperation from their husband’s family members prevent them from helping their children realize their expectations. Their shortcomings necessitate them to send their children to school to be assimilated into Taiwanese culture.
That parents’ education, specifically that of mothers, plays a critical role in the brain development and eventually in the educational success of young children could also be inferred from the study of Mosende (2000). The study, “Sociocultural correlates of the maternal teaching styles of selected Filipino women,” highlights the differences in the cognitive development and academic achievement of young children and links the differences to those in maternal teaching styles, on one hand, and social class and ethnicity, on the other hand.
Interest in child-rearing and child development grows as educators and child care experts continue to suggest ways of treating children, developing them into well-adjusted, confident, and productive adults, fostering the children’s positive self-esteem, and promoting their welfare, and enhancing opportunities for a useful and happy life.
Quincy Austriaco’s article (2006), “How to be nurturing parents” as the title suggests, deals with ways to nurture children. In general, to nurture is to give abundant love and affection with little expectation in return other than love, which makes children feel protected andcared about , as well as builds their self-esteem.
Austriaco cites in his articles, Dr. William Sears and his wife’s style called attachment parenting for newborn babies and for age two and older and enumerates the components of attachment parenting for newborn babies as follows: responding quickly to the baby’s cries; breast-feeding; considering the family bed as an acceptable sleeping arrangement or sleep sharing; and carrying the newborn on a sling to maximize physical contact.
On the other hand, describing attachment parenting for age two and older, Austriaco lists the following components: hugging, touching, kissing; telling the children you love them; spending much time with the children; speaking kindly; taking a time-out when stressed; learning non-physical options in discipline; giving praise for children’s good behavior, and recognizing misbehavior.
The literature on caring for children is useful as it gives a significant framework, nurturing children to develop them into secure and healthy adults, for exploring many possibilities to help children realize their dreams while keeping their identity; and for understanding the phenomenon of “generation gap” among some families.
Various questions have been raised in terms of family beliefs which influence gender determination, discriminatory practices for or against the girl-child or over-all gender role expectations Other expectations have been about child-rearing practices of parents as correlates to the personality traits of only-child adolescents, on one hand, and the effects of divorce on children, on the other hand.
Questions on such issues prompted educators and other professionals concerned about child care to investigate and to arrive at some significant findings.
“How We Raise Our Daughters and Sons: Child-Rearing and Gender Socialization in the Philippines” by Ma. Emma Conception Liwag, Alma de la Cruz and Ma. Elizabeth Macapagal poses the following answers about gender determination as influenced by family beliefs: during the prenatal and infancy stages, the expectant mother’s looks are associated with the gender of the unborn child; the unborn girl-child is associated with the mother’s looks-pretty and not so heavy; the unborn boy-child is believed to be strong, to eat more and to grow more.
On discriminatory practices for or against the girl-child, the researches put forth the following answers: there is a clear difference in the amount of freedom granted to boys and the degree of restrictions that girls have to cope with; parents are reportedly more permissive towards male children when it comes to handling aggressions but sons are constantly warned by mothers not to get into fights and avoid company who are prone to accidents; boys get beatings with a wooden stick as punishment while girls are pinched, slapped, and scolded.
Highlighted are the following findings: in general, Filipino parents have expressed preferences for daughters because they can help in household chores; boys are given more freedom while girls are more restricted in terms of rules for social activities; parents are more permissive towards male children when it comes to handling aggression; girls’ tasks are domestic, indoors, nurturing while boys’ tasks require physical strength, farther from the home, and hardly any emotional skills; and children in both genders agree with traditional gender roles and sex-role stereotyping of occupations.
The studies and literature show that there are very few absolutes in parenting, and no one can ever claim to know the right way to raise kids as each child and each parent are different, living in different environment and circumstances.
However, all these studies and literature stress the importance of parents in their children’s lives, that even with the assistance of numerous groups and organizations, parents cannot and should not relinquish their parental authority or responsibility.
The child-rearing practices observed by the researchers and child-care experts can serve as guides to help parents decide on how they can prepare their children for adulthood, what they can do to support their children’s educational experiences, what kind of intervention parents with disadvantaged children must seek, what type of parenting they can employ, and many other issues that parents have to address if they want their children to become successful individuals.
3. Research Rationale
Parents or other people in the society are either the source of or panacea for the crisis in the lives of their children (Coles, Dodge and Wright as cited in Zendan,1995). In other words, children’s interaction with their family or society can change the course of personality in either a positive or negative direction.
This is the same view that Erickson’s theory of psychosocial development is concerned with; it purports that an individual’s interaction with parents or other people plays a role in his/her personality development. Parents who are patient, cooperative, and encouraging help their children acquire a sense of independence. In contrast, parents who are strict make their children develop an excessive sense of shame and doubt If they give them freedom in running, sliding, and other physical activities, their children develop initiative. However, if they curtail this freedom, they make their children feel they are intruders; moreover, they make them passive recipients of whatever environment brings. Parents and teachers who support, reward, and praise their children’s/students’ achievements encourage industry or boost self-esteem. On the other hand, those who deride or ignore children’s/students’ efforts strengthen their feelings of inferiority.
Similarly, Sullivan’s theory of interpersonal relations shows human beings as the product of relationship with the significant others, on the one hand, and personality as the product of learning in contact with other people, on the other hand. He implies that relating well with others helps in reducing disruptions in interpersonal relations. In addition, he suggests that early relationships contribute to the development of self-concept, which gives continuity to a given individual’s behavior pattern, which may be used as a basis for understanding his/her attitudes, expectations, and values. He stresses that other people, usually parents and other siblings, are responsible for what children will become, which may be predicted within the family.
What children will become and what their behavior will be also depend on the kind of family the children grow with (Hetherington,et.al., as cited in Zanden ,1995). Children’s behavior or their success or failure in adult life is viewed in terms of joint parenting, solo parenting, or multiple parenting.
Of the kinds of parenting, it has been observed that joint parenting best predicts children’s adjustment. Stable, loving relationships with both parents prevent children from acquiring more emotional scars; they experience less stress and exhibit less aggressive behavior; they perform well in school and relate well with others.
On the other hand, solo parenting, as viewed by psychologists and sociologists, is a lamentable and defective arrangement. Such impression is developed, since solo parenting is generally brought about by divorce or separation of mother or father. This situation brings about stressful changes, some of which are evident in the interaction patterns between the separated or divorced parents and their children.
Hetherington, Cox and Cox (1976) cite some of them as follows: 1) Divorced (or separated) parents make fewer maturity demands of their children, do not communicate well with their children and show marked inconsistency in discipline and lack of control over their children in comparison to parents in intact families; 2) poor parenting seems most marked, particularly for divorced mothers, one year after divorce, which seems to be a peak of stress in parent-child relations; 3) two years following the divorce, mothers are demanding more, communicate better and use more explanation and reasoning, are more nurturing and consistent and are better able to control their children than they were the year before; 4) a similar pattern occurring for divorced fathers in maturity demands communication and consistency, but they are becoming less nurturing and more detached from their children; and 5) divorced fathers were ignoring their children more and showing less affection.
Another possible consequence of solo parenting is failure of parents, especially mothers, to control their children, to which low IQ scores, poorer school grades, and a decrease in children’s problem-solving skills may be attributed (Cooper as cited in Zanden, 1995).In addition, the tendency of the sons to become more abusive, demanding, and unaffectionate, greater risk for discipline problems in school, and engaging in delinquent behavior may be associated with the failure of mothers to control their children.
Although bad reputation is hurled at solo parenting, referred to as “broken,” “disorganized,” or “disintegrated,” it does not follow that it is always disastrous for children in relation to school achievement, social adjustment, and delinquent behavior.
Some research suggests the following: 1) Children and adolescents from single-parent homes show less delinquent behavior, less psychosomatic illness, better adjustment to their parents, and better self-concepts than those from unhappy intact homes (Crimmings, Pellegrini & Notarius as cited in Zanden, 1995);2) behavioral problems of some children who have divorced parents are derived not directly from the disruption of family bonds but from the difficulties in interpersonal relations with which the disruption is associated; 3) parental conflict, tension, and discord play a part in feeding negative self-conceptions and identities, in jeopardizing youngsters’ sense of security, in hindering children’s development of peer relationships, and in increasing children’s susceptibility to illness ( Acock as cited in Zanden, 1995).4) in many cases, divorce actually serves to reduce the amount of friction and unhappiness that a child experiences; and 5) consequently, divorce leads to better behavioral adjustments (Coles, Dodge & Wright as cited in Zanden, 1995).
Although joint parenting is the preferred arrangement for raising children, it is observed that children throughout the world are successfully reared in situations of multiple parenting, an arrangement in which several people assume the responsibility of taking care of the children. Research suggests that multiple parenting develops resiliency in children.
In addition to these kinds of arrangement for raising children, other factors, such as peer relationships and schools, among others, influence children’s development.
Peer relationship give individuals the sense of oneness, expressed in many ways, one of which is through shared values, which play a part in influencing people’s social interaction, and which are used to appraise or accept their peers. Children’s acceptance by their peers brings about a variety of behavioral characteristics which are as follows: 1) Popular children tend to be described by their associates as active, outgoing, alert, self-assured, helpful, good-natured, cheerful, and friendly; 2) they are children who, although interested in others, do not aggressively seek attention; they are active but not hyperactive; and they are confident but not boastful; and 3) children who are unpopular with their peers are those who are social isolates, psychologically introverted, overbearing, noisy, attention-seeking, demanding, rebellious and arrogant.
Schools, on the other hand, share with the family the responsibility for transmitting a society’s dominant cultural goals and values, such as patriotism, national history, obedience, diligence, personal cleanliness, physical fitness, the correct use of language, and others. They also seek to develop students’ decision-making skills.
The failure of the children to develop such competencies and skills and the concept that the crisis in the lives of the children, reflected in their inability to relate well with others, inadequacy in adult role, the weakening of their emotional attachment to their parents, may be attributed to the child-rearing practices of parents.
This concept, together with the desire to help families and schools raise and produce well-adjusted, confident, and productive adults, has generated interest in the researchers to conduct this study.
A. Profile of the Respondents
Majority of the respondents come from NCR, residing at the urban communities, are Catholics, married, college graduates, self-employed, with three children.
B. Parent-respondents’ Child-rearing Practices
1) Majority of parents, both father and mother raised their children from infancy to early childhood, from pre-school to high school. They continue to take care of them now that they are in college.
2) Majority of the mothers gave mixed feeding because of the difficulty of breastfeeding. They unanimously “agree” that they weaned the children because they did not have milk anymore. They also “agree” that the fathers took care of the children, or their mothers weaned them.
3) Mothers “disagree” on giving the children other kinds of food or on giving their children the food of their choice other than that served on the table at meal time. They explain to their children that a varied well-balanced diet contributes to a healthy body and good mental health, that food should not be wasted, and that it should be shared with the others, especially the deprived,
4) Mothers strongly agree on hiring tutors for the children, providing them the needed school materials so that they could study on their own, and leaving everything to their baby sitters/ grandparents due to work load. They also agree on attending school activities the children are involved in, guiding them in research work; giving them enough independence to do their responsibilities; and monitoring their performance by checking their academic performance record.
5) Mothers agree on providing their children with materials for writing and reading, making an effort to find reading materials that match their interests, involving them in literacy clubs and activities, exposing them to great work for growth and enhancement in reading, and setting rules on the schedule of study periods and leisure time at home.
6) Parents strongly agree that their children are God’s gifts to them; they look at their children as fruits of a loving relationship of husband and wife, accept the fact that their children are their responsibility and that they should be well-taken care of. In addition, they strongly agree that their children deserve to be loved.
7) Some mothers find giving birth to children difficult while others find it bringing happiness to them.
8) On the item of pacifying children, parents agree on putting the children to sleep, taking their children in their arms and dancing them around, playing with them, giving them toys, and diverting their attention to other things. They find them really more comforting than giving them pacifiers and/or letting others in the house to attend to and play with them.
9) Parents prevent their children from thumb-sucking, diverting their attention to toys they can play with.
10) Parents explain the reason why children should not tag along with them when they leave the house and why they should be obedient.
11) Parents talk to their children heart to heart, instead of inflicting pain on them when they commit mistakes.
12) Parents believe in reading bedtime stories to their children to improve their values in life.
13) On the item of monitoring the children’s peers in school, parents give their children freedom to choose their friends, leave the decision with them on the peers to mingle with, see to it that they know their children’s peers by inviting them to come to their house, and talk with their children’s peers.
14) Parents are involved in family activities. Specifically, they schedule family outings and some sort of outdoor activities, spend quality time with their family, teach their children how to do the household chores, give them a household task everyday, or give them simple things to do.
C. Students’ Values
Students manifest the following values:
1) Concern for others
They console a friend who is ridiculed or is made fun of by others.
They answer test questions with complete honesty, believe that cheating is morally wrong, salute people whose honesty is beyond reproach/doubt, and return anything that is not theirs.
They treat people equally, regardless of social status.
They use courteous expressions, especially when speaking with their parents, and avoid butting in conversations of their superiors, parents, or the elders.
They find time to pray, no matter how busy they are.
They offer understanding and forgiveness to a friend who has offended them. They experience relief when they forgive a person who has hurt them.
They donate money to charity.
They express appreciation for the gifts they receive, always find time to thank and praise God, believe that God loves grateful persons, show their gratefulness to their parents and recognize the importance of their parents’ help in their success.
They attribute their success to God or to other people.
10) Love for friends/Love for parents and siblings.
They protect their parents from ridicule or criticism. They value filial love.
11) Hard work/Industry
They do their assignments regularly, persevere in the performance of difficult tasks, no matter how busy they are, and comply with the school requirements.
They do their part in group work, and believe that cooperating in group work will result in success.
They wait for friends for long hours without complaint.
14) Consideration for other people’s feelings
They keep quiet when they know they do not have anything good to say, and choose appropriate words in letting their siblings know their faults
15) Family relationship
They show their parents they can depend on them, enjoy the company of their siblings, offer their shoulders for them to cry on, share their allowance with them on important decisions. They are willing to forgo good fortune for their siblings’ sake.
16) Respect for superiors/elders
They do the tasks assigned to them without grumbling, without complaining.
They come to classes and meetings on time.
They share food with the deprived.
They help their groupmates in doing their assignments, share their books with their classmates, and spend time tutoring their peers.
They consider truthfulness important in dealing with people.
They show their friends they can keep a secret, and believe that trust is the key to a happy and lasting relationship.
They consider it an obligation to perpetuate the good name of their parents.
D. The Values Parents Inculcate in their Children
Parents explain the benefits of being obedient.
Parents explain to their children why it is good to share food with others, especially the deprived.
Parents provide their children with the needed school materials so that they can study on their own.
Parents teach their children how to do the household chores and they always make it to a point to give them a household task every day.
Parents shower them with love and attention and tell them they are gifts from God.
6) Harmonious relationships
Parents schedule family outings and some sort of outdoor activities.
Parents make their children understand that a varied well-balanced diet contributes to a healthy body and good mental health.
Moreover, parents make their children understand why they should not always tag along with them when they leave the house.
E. Child-rearing Practices and Values Formation
1) Encouraging children to develop the habit of reading good books at an early age will result in their love for learning.
2) Getting involved in children’s activities develops close family relationship.
3) Encouraging the development of the children’s initiative allows them the opportunity for freedom and growth.
4) Giving explanation on eating the food served at meal time and on sharing it will make children understand the value of good health and develop concern for the deprived.
5) Involving children in literary clubs and activities contributes to their social development.
6) Telling the children that they are regarded as gifts from God, as fruits of a loving relationship of husband and wife, and that they deserve to be loved helps build their self-esteem.
7) Talking with the children heart-to-heart, instead of resorting to physical punishment, develops consideration of other people’s feelings.
8) Teaching the children how to do the household chores and always making it a point to give them a household task every day develop diligence and obedience.
9) Giving the children the freedom to choose their friends establishes trusting and cordial relationships of parents and children.
F. Child-rearing Practices and Curriculum in Selected Courses
The child-rearing practices and the values instilled by the parents and demonstrated by the children from their early stages of development to the end of tertiary education, integrated in selected courses, such as Dynamics of Family Life, Empowering the Self, and General Psychology will enhance curriculum. It means adding lessons/activities on children’s moral and social development, Filipino values, positive personality traits and effects of child-rearing practices on personality, among others.
The following conclusions have been drawn from the findings:
- Child-rearing practices play an important role in the children’s moral and social development.
- Children’s behavior and attitude reflect Filipino values.
- Parents’ education and aspirations bear an impact on the children’s attitudes towards studies and work.
- Children’s dealings with others which may influence their future well-being are dependent on their upbringing.
- Personality traits manifested by the student-respondents are positive.
- Ensuring their children’s well-being, success, and good life is every parent’s goal, regardless of setting, educational attainment, work, and parenting style.
The researchers recommend the following:
- Community leaders should conduct seminars to guide parents to decide on how they can prepare their children for adulthood.
- Educators should develop programs on analyzing problems on child development and finding solutions for them.
- Media should show more of educational commercials on child-rearing practices.
- School leaders should include in the school curricula and classroom activities lessons on child-rearing and their effects on the children’s personality.
- Community leaders should seek NGO’s help in the campaign about correct and proper child-rearing by putting up posters, streamers, and billboards that will increase awareness of the citizens.
- Teachers should prepare instructional materials on child-rearing practices and values formation.
- Researchers should conduct a study on the similarities and differences of child-rearing practices according to setting, parents’ educational attainment, and parents’ work, as well as the effects of solo parenting, joint parenting, rearing by grandparents only and others, on the traits and values of children.
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